Woman

The past few days I have had a lot of time to think. We went hiking in the Sinai mountains with the Bedouins and I enjoyed a day at the beach in Sharm el Sheikh with three other interns. When I mention Bedouins, I truly mean Bedouins and not the Bedouins in Jordan who had their own Wifi and sound installation. During the day we spent our time in the mountains and at night we stayed in the original camps, trying to sleep in a sleeping bag on the rocks while watching the stars. You understand this is about the best climate to experience your typical EMO, and although this was of course also the case for me, I’ve told you to refrain from emotion as much as possible so I’ll just stick to the thoughts that have been occupying my mind for a long time. I’ve referred to the position of women in Arab societies in previous blogs, but it has been hard for me to capture its essence and I’m still not sure if I can. 

Arab societies have a man-based culture for sure. For me, this poses two questions. Where does this culture come from and is the fact that it is man-centered inherently bad? When I first arrived in the region I believed this was not the case, because I got the feeling that women were treated with respect. Actually this is still my impression, but after talking to girls from Western countries I realize it is not that easy. I’m a man and I just can’t feel what the foreign girls are feeling here. I tried, and I consider myself to be quite the empathic guy, but I just don’t notice it. That’s why I will share a few accounts of ‘girl-experiences’ now. 

Non Middle Eastern girls often feel uncomfortable when just walking the streets. This was the case in Iraq and Jordan and I’ve understood that it also accounts for Egypt. When going to Tahrir Square in the night to catch a glimpse of the protests we were with a group of two guys and three girls. I immediately walked to the centre of the square and when the others followed, a group of Egyptians came to me and told me I could stay, but it was better for the girls to leave. Their legs were not covered enough and it might become dangerous. Because of the last reason we soon left after I had a small conversation with them in private. Madita, who was one of the girls, was a bit angry with me and told me I should have left earlier because she felt really uncomfortable about the behavior of the Egyptians. I had not noticed anything at all. A few days later in the MacDonalds while we were waiting for our daily program to start, Jorgen (my roommate) came into contact with an Egyptian guy who also had done Aiesec. He asked Jorgen who was our project leader and when Jorgen told him this was Lina, the guy sincerely asked if this was working well. He made insinuations about girls having monkey brains and lacking the capacity to be a leader. Although it was all done in a friendly matter it shows that many guys at least seemingly think of girls as inferior. Something that also stayed with me was a situation at Al Azhar park where we hang out for an afternoon. There was a fountain and all the little children were playing in the water. I’ve seen it happening  a lot that little girls wanted to get to the water but that the boys (hardly five years old) were scaring the girls away. You can think what you want to think about it, but it shows that the distinction between girl and boy is already present at a very young age. Yesterday I met Sofie from Nijmegen and unfortunately she also had some bad experiences to share with me. She was followed by a group of guys in a car who were making very insulting remarks to her. They were saying things like: “all girls from the West are whores and if you look like that, you deserve it to be raped”.

It’s a struggle to me. On the one hand I believe girls are generally treated with respect, but on the other hand girls their selves tell me differently. It’s a shame I can’t really talk to the local Egyptian girls who are not from a high class, because I get the feeling they do not experience these humiliations. The only very negative stories I’ve heard were from foreign girls. 

So where does it come from? Some people say religion, some say it’s just the culture and Adhan, who is our filmmaking teacher, pointed me to the role of the military in the fifties. I’ve always been convinced that it is not religion. There are so many Muslims from which I know they treat women with respect that I think it’s too easy. I was convinced it had to do with background, wealth and education. Guys from lower social classes are generally less respectful to girls than men from higher backgrounds. That is what I believed, but it would not explain why Aiesecer in MacDonalds talked about Lina in that way. Actually I think that what Adhan told me is not that strange. I know from my classes at university that most of the Middle East was very liberal in the twenties and was even ahead of Europe. With the military coup in ’53 in Egypt by Nasser and the introduction of the military in society, I think it’s reasonable to suggest that the position of women drastically changed afterwards. It’s important to understand where it comes from in order to think of a solution. I still don’t really know. It’s probably a combination of several aspects, like it almost always is. 

When I told Mabrouk, our tour guide during the hike, about my struggle he clarified something really important to me. He pointed me to the distinction between the public and private. He explained to me that girls may seem to be treated as inferior sometimes in the public, but when you go to their houses, it is the woman who is the boss and they are actually capable of exerting a lot influence from this private place. This partly clarifies why I didn’t notice that women are treated without respect. It is clearly different from the situation in the Netherlands and of all countries in Europe, but I don’t want to judge it as bad right away. This is why I came to the Middle East. Learning about a different culture, not judging. I do condemn the humiliations the Dutch and other girls had to go through and think it’s absolutely unacceptable. However, it’s only an aspect of the way women are treated in Arab societies, so insufficient to draw a proper conclusion.  I guess I will continue my struggle. At least I tried to explain it the way I see it.

‘Woman’. It’s my favorite John Lennon song. This story is not about John Lennon, but I guess it ís about imagining. Imagining a world in which everybody is equal and where women enjoy the same rights as men. 

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will live as one”.  

Maybe it is about John Lennon after all.